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How To Not Let ‘The Abantu Bazo Thini’ Syndrome Get To You

How To Not Let 'The Abantu Bazo Thini' Syndrome Get To You

We are often hard on ourselves to the point where we think others are as well and give them power by caring what they think about us. Here are five ways to not care what others think of you

What others think of us matters. Or so we think. Although impressions and reputation make people view us a certain way, what matters the most is how we really think and feel about ourselves. This is often projected in how we behave towards others or how much we tolerate how others treat us. As my favourite actress Meryl Streep once said: “The minute you start caring about what other people think is the minute you stop being yourself.” Although I don’t agree with being mean or cruel because that is who you are, it’s important to be authentic, even if it makes your circle smaller. Here are five ways I have tried to not care what others think of me. I hope you inspires you, too:

Ignore the murmurs: Over the years, I have stopped paying attention to people who gossiped about me. Instead, I have invested my time trying to build my career and nurture the good relationships I have with my friends and family. Once you stop engaging in fruitless conversations, you repel haters and commentators of other people’s lives.

Be careful of the company you keep: There must be a wise elder in your family who told you this at some point in your life: you are the company you keep. If you are with people who make you feel bad for your achievements and wanting to be the best version of yourself, it’s time to figure out why you cling on to them and make the brave decision to walk away and not look back. There are genuinely good people out there you want to see you shine and succeed, be with them. Importantly, pray about the people in your life. God will reveal to you people’s true colours.

You own your feelings: What others say, think of or treat you is on them. It’s how you react that shows your character. One of my favourite quotes from media personality Bonang Matheba is: “People talk about you because when they talk about themselves, no one listens.” Expect haters, expect gossip because, unfortunately, that’s how some people are. The challenge is to not let negative comments get to you. Be kinder to yourself. Believe that you are important and don’t dwell on your failures and mistakes. Life really goes on.

READ MORE: The Five Commandments Of True Happiness

Build your self-esteem: Self-esteem is defined as how we value and perceive ourselves. This is the foundation of what we think we deserve in life and our careers. Start building your self-esteem by finding the root causes of why you think lowly of yourself, if you do. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem to be. Avoid bad company or environments that drain your energy and happiness. Forgive yourself. You are only human. Importantly, focus on the great physical features you have and the things you admire about yourself.

Get help: Sometimes, getting professional help to deal with internal challenges and overcoming traumatic pasts is important to gaining the happiness you deserve. Loving yourself is the best gift you can give to yourself, as it will help you set boundaries, live the life you want and really care less what others have to say about you.

How do you avoid this syndrome? Share in the comments below.

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