We all strive for happiness and success in every aspect of our lives, but we often fail to achieve our deepest desires. These reasons could be holding you back from your dreams
I remember journaling the things I had hoped to achieve by a certain age. I remember wanting to be an editor of a successful magazine and eventually opening my own media empire one day. After tertiary, I realised that it was going to take more than just applying for a job a hoping for the best to fulfill my dreams. After more than fourteen years of being protected by the walls of the schools, I had been hit by the real world and saw how different [and somewhat harsh] it was. I volunteered for a certain media company for a while and through that, I got my first job as a freelance journalist for a certain magazine. I knew I was at the right place but realised that I wanted to be my own boss and tell stories in my own voice. I used the opportunity to learn as much as I could, but shame, glass ceiling is a reality for many, especially young women. I started doubting myself and my potential to grow and be the best I could be. It took me a while to have a frank conversation with myself. These are the things I know have held me back from being the best version of myself, especially in my career:
Low self-esteem: For a long time I have battled with low self-esteem and was really hard on myself, especially if I failed at something or didn’t get my desired job. For a long time, I never believed in myself and didn’t think I deserved good things.
How I am healing: I have a fighting spirit and barely give up. I channeled these characteristics to helping and falling in love with who I am. I also have friends who really bring out the best in me and that’s the energy I consciously want to be around. I’ve learned to be unapologetic in cutting toxic people, bosses, exes and negative thoughts in my life. It’s still a journey but I am learning to love myself, flaws and all.
Comparing myself to others: For a while, I used to measure my worth with other people’s strengths and successes. I felt stuck and resentful towards my peers who seemed to have it all while I felt like I was banging my head on a wall.
How I am healing: I have learned to stop setting deadlines for myself by letting go and letting God take over. Instead of beating myself up for someone’s success, I am learning to be happy for them and transforming resentment into inspiration.
Letting fear get in the way: Fear, I have learned, is the enemy of success and happiness. It’s a thief that has stolen hope for many people to follow their dreams, dreams that could have changed the world for the better if people were courageous enough to pursue them. I have been one of those people who allowed fear to paralyse me for many years and it’s not a nice place to be.
How I am healing: If fear didn’t paralyse you, what would you do? Well, I started this blog and there are many things I am going to try no matter will happen. My job is to do my best and pray that the God I serve will help me along the way. No matter what the future holds, I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I tried to pursue all my dreams than wonder how things would have turned out.
There are many things holding back many people from becoming the best versions of themselves. But I am learning that everything is all in the mind. A wise person once said that if you say you can or you can’t you are right. One of my favourite authors Marianne Williamson couldn’t have summed up this article perfectly when she wrote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God…” Just remember that.
What has been holding you back from fulfilling your dreams?