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Why You Can’t Keep a Man (or a Woman)

Matt Alaniz

Have you wondered why you are always single and find yourself feeling like a sore thumb when your friends talk about their partners? This could the reason:

From my experience, there is nothing wrong with being single, yes even in your late 20s. I remember a good ten years ago, I envisioned myself settling down and having a successful career by the time I turned 25. Well, I am still single and I am still building a career, actually a successful business. It’s funny how life turns out. We make such big plans, which is a great thing, but life happens. After three hectic break ups, with guysI actually wanted to settle down with I really found myself enjoying being single. It took me exactly a year to heal from my previous disastrous relationship and never in a million years did I think I would forgive my ex-boyfriend for the crappy things he did (it’s a topic for another day). But I have and I am able to look at him and sincerely give him a warm smile. As a Christian, I believe all of this is a result of the strength I got from God. In my journey to healing, I found forgiving my exes so liberating and it feels amazing looking at life through the lens of happiness. I have seen a lot of single ladies being frowned upon and questioned on why they can’t seem to keep a guy to save their lives. Well from my experience here is why:

  • They won’t settle for less than their standards: I don’t believe in the term, ‘better the devil you know’, why not find an angel who will treat you like the queen you are?’
  • Their behaviour pushes the guy away: Take it from me, there’s nothing worse than hopping from one relationship to another without healing and taking lessons from the previous relationship. Sometimes she brings her painful baggage into the relationship and compares her current boyfriend to her exes.
  • They have a low self-esteem: I have always wondered how abusive jerks spot out women they often abuse, and who stay! But I have learned that the circumstance we experience and the people we attract are a reflection of how we truly see and feel about ourselves (a tough pill to swallow I know). Women with low self-esteem are so critical of everything and everyone, especially themselves, and that is a big turn off to (good) guys.
  • He is simply not meant for her: I remember going all out for my exes, from splashing them with gifts to funding their lifestyles. But they didn’t do anything to show me the affection I yearned from them. If a guy loves you, you don’t have to prove anything to him, he will show you that you are his woman, and mostly you will feel it.

Maybe it’s not that she can’t keep a man, it could be that she hasn’t found the right guy who is for her to keep.

Oh, just a few tips on how to avoid pushing him away. Please stop:

  • Comparing him to your exes
  • Being too clingy
  • Nagging him all the time
  • Being a control freak
  • Pointing out your physical flaws
  • Disrespecting him, and
  • Having very high expectations from him.

Are you single? What is the reason?


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